Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

DEFENDING BING CROSBY


The other day I was at the supermarket, and I had a Bing Crosby record playing from my CD player. A guy in his early 30s, maybe a few years younger than me asked who that was. I told him Bing Crosby happily, but my happiness was short lived when he said "Oh Bing is the guy that beat his wife and tried to kill his kids."

I am going to start out this article though by saying it is hard to raise children. There are so many outside pressures that societies places on parents as well as children. Those pressures are magnified when one is famous. The famous parent has an image that they must keep up for the public. Also, they are the real problems that “normal” parents have. In my opinion, famous people do not make good parents. Even if they try their best, their children also have to live up to their image. That image is nearly impossible to match, and the child cannot create a life of their own, because they are always compared to their famous and successful parent. Then after the child grows up and often after the famous parent is dead, they write the tell-all book. They do it for many reasons, but I think the two biggest is money and revenge. Two of the most famous instances of the children writing a book about their parents are when Christina Crawford wrote “Mommie Dearest” about her adopted mother Joan Crawford in 1978, and when Gary Crosby followed her book up with “Going My Own Way” about his father Bing Crosby in 1983.


Two be perfectly blunt and honest, neither Joan Crawford nor Bing Crosby were the greatest parents. As for Bing Crosby, he had the most widely recorded voice in the history of mankind. How can someone compare to that. When his son Gary was born in 1933, Bing was becoming the most popular star in the world. By the 1940s, Bing was the most popular icon in movies, on records, and in radio. Bing worked non-stop and pretty much was never home. Bing grew up with a strict mother himself, and he wanted to instill that strictness in his children. However, with Bing gone maybe 300 days a year, when he would come home and try to discipline the children and be a father, it would just make their relationship worse. If Bing was able to tell his sons, especially Gary, that he loved them more then Gary might have turned out differently. What compounded matters was the fact Bing’s wife Dixie Lee was becoming an alcoholic. She could not cope with the fame and the absence of a husband for long periods of time. Gary blamed Bing for Dixie’s problems, and when Dixie died of cancer in 1952 then Gary really started acting out. Gary got in public fights (some with brothers), got married and divorced numerous, and arrested on many occasions. All four sons suffered from alcoholism like their mother. However, even though one’s home life may not be ideal or may not have a father present, once one is an adult then their life is their own responsibility. Gary never took responsibility for his own life.

Gary wrote his book about his dad to ride the coattails of Christina Crawford. As source in the Crosby family says that Gary actually wrote two versions of his book. The publisher said it wasn’t juicy enough so he made Bing out to be an abusive and unfeeling monster. As Gary laid dying of cancer in 1995, he not only was planning on doing a duets album with old recordings of his father, but he recanted his whole book. He said Bing never beat him, and although he was absent for most of his childhood he admitted the book was mostly lies.

Whatever the truth actually is, the damage was done to the memory of Joan Crawford and even moreso to the memory of Bing Crosby. When one sees their names they instantly think of the abuse and not the talent the stars had. Maybe Joan and Bing were not the greatest parents, but isn’t that their own business behind closed doors. They both entertained millions of fans who needed it during the Great Depression and World War II. Even if they were the monsters that their children painted them as for financial gains, that does not diminish their talents. Both icons deserve to be remembered for their talents and not negative books written by their children…



Friday, January 11, 2013

BING CROSBY RUMORS PERSIST


Bing Crosby, one of the greatest singers of all time, and one of the most beloved icons of the 20th century has seen his reputation tarnished over the last thirty years. Bing has been dead since 1977, but after his oldest son Gary Crosby published a supposed "tell-all" book called "Going My Own Way" in 1983, the memory of Bing has been ruined in the public eye. It is so unfortunate because people refuse to put aside the family rumors, and they take Gary's book as the absolute truth. Every week I find myself correcting people on Bing Crosby rumors. I even had one person ask me if it was true that Bing attempted to murder one of his sons. Now come on!

Decades later the rumors have grown and have a life of their own. I was amazed that the National Enquirer continued to perpetuate the gossip by running a December story called Bing Crosby: A Black And Blue Christmas. I made myself read to article in hopes that maybe the title was deceiving, but alas it was the same old story. Gary Crosby has been dead since 1995, but the tabloid magazine used old stories Gary told in the 1980s when he was pushing his book. I am just so tired seeing these negative stories about Bing Crosby.


People assume that Bing Crosby was the cold and heartless child beater just from one book his alcoholic and bitter son wrote about him. No one remembers that four of Bing's children have come to his defense, saying he was a great father. No one remembers that before Gary Crosby died he recanted most of the fabrications he put into his book. No on remembers the countless selfless acts Bing did throughout his career such as entertaining with the USO during World War II, and also helping out other stars when they hit rough times like Mildred Bailey, Judy Garland, and Peggy Lee. It is such a shame that after 2500 plus recordings and countless appearances in movies, and on radio and television that Bing is remembered as a child beater.

I do not know the truth about Bing Crosby's parenting skills. I do not know that he did not hit his children, but then again none of us know for sure if he did. As listeners and fans is it any of our business what personl issues Bing had in his life. Other stars like Frank Sinatra, Dick Haymes, Betty Hutton, and Betty Grable had rumors and gossip persist about their family lives - however, people are allowed to appreciate them for their body of work. For some reason, people can not let go of the rumors that swirl around about Bing, and just appreciate Bing for what he gave to this country and the world for that matter.

In my opinion, Bing Crosby was not father of the year by any stretch of the imagination, but he was not the Adolf Hitler of parenting that he is being portrayed. Bing Crosby, like millions of other parents in this world, were trying to do the best they can. He might not have made the right decisions all of the time, but none of us are perfect. What is known is Bing Crosby shared his talent with millions of people for a better part of 50 years while he was alive. That should be what we remember him for 35 years now after his death...